Dear Dr. Renee,
I just can’t do it.
All of my friends are posting these pictures of perfect children and beautiful homes. I am lucky if my kids are wearing shoes when we go out! My house is a mess most of the time. I love kids and thought I’d be an awesome mom. What is wrong with me?
-Just Can’t
Dear “Just Can’t” which I am changing to “Yes You Can,”
First, take a deep breath.
At the end of the day, if you can answer YES to the following questions, you are doing A-OK:
- Are my kids alive?
- Were my kids fed (even if it was sandwiches or cereal for dinner)?
Second, please don’t compare yourself to your friends’ “highlight reels.”
It can feel awful when you are at your wits end and “everyone else is so perfect.”
It is important to put things in perspective. Think about your holiday card pictures. Most families take a couple. Dozen. Or More. photos. Then they sift through them to find the one where everyone’s eyes are open and most people are smiling, or at least looking towards the camera.
I know that I am only reminding you that this is what happens on social media- but sometimes it is important to hear it again.
I am willing to bet money that your friends have “those” days, too, but only post the best of the best (don’t we all?!). And I only bet money when I am at least 98% sure I will win.
You do not have to do this alone. Reach out to a friend you trust who will not make fun of or shame you … or reach out to me.
I would be happy to help you not only get to a good spot where your feet are underneath you (with shoes on 😉), but also to a point in life where you can have fun with your children again.
No guarantees on the clean house – that’s not my specialty.
You can do this!
– Dr. Renee
To schedule a brief complimentary call to see what I can do to help you, click HERE.
Dr.Amrita says
Absolutely great tips.Its a war zone in every home.We cope the best we can.
Dr Renee Cohn Jones says
Thanks! My goal is to help parents get past the “coping” and into enjoying parenting their children. So many of us still have moments where we are just putting one foot in front of the other -unless there are legos on the floor. 🙂