Updated 8/7/23
It's that time of year!
Most kids, parents, and teachers are excited to jump into the
new school year.
Yet for some kids, back to school time can be terrifying, or at the least, be overwhelming.
It is NORMAL for kids (parents and teachers, too) to feel a mix of excitement and nervousness. There are a lot of unknowns when starting a new school year.
What will my teacher be like? What will I learn? Who will I sit next to during class? During lunch? What if it is too hard? Too easy?
Leaving parents, the 'not knowing', and even the transition from a less structured time to a more structured time to a more structured time can all be possible causes of anxiety.
But have no fear (pun intended)!
YOU can help your child get through this!
Keep reading for tips to help you with a smooth tranistion to school this year.
1. Prepare
Start getting into a routine a week or two before school starts.
Practice morning and bedtime routines so your child starts to develop habits and can get the right amount of sleep.
Most elementary school aged children need 9-11 hours and older children need at least 8-10 hours of sleep.
See my blogs on Morning Routines and Bedtime Routines!
Practice walking to school or walking to the bus stop. Time your morning routines and the walk to see how much time it takes. Add 15 minutes to that time, once school actually starts in case there is a delay or someone gets side tracked. You can always have a special activity if you get done early (i.e., cuddle and read a book together, play hopscotch, walk the dog).
2. Stay Calm
One of the most important things for you, the grown-up, is to stay calm.
If you get all worked up or appear anxious, your child will pick up on your feelings.
That’s not to say that you can’t feel anxious or sad – even when my kids were going into middle and high school and I still got tear-y eyed after they walked into the school. Notice I said “after” they walk into the school. Do your best to keep a calm appearance when you are with your child.
3. Stay Positive
Stay focused on the positive, especially if your child is anxious or scared about school.
That doesn't mean you can't talk about things that worry your child! It is important to answer those worries in a calm and positive manner.
Mention things your child feels confident about (they are good at math, they met the teacher and she has a nice smile).
Smile when you talk about school and offer things that you remember enjoying when you were in school, even if it was playing on the monkey bars at recess or being able to visit the snack-shack when you got to 9th grade.
4. Ask Questions
Think of a list of questions and pick one or two each day.
Ask your child a question as they head off to school and then again after they return home.
What is one thing someone had a lunch that you would like to have in your lunch?
How many kids are wearing blue t-shirts today?
This gives your child a little bit of a connection to you and also something to look for during the day.
5. Something Special
Plan something special.
Not necessarily everyday, but definitely on the first day and sprinkled throughout the school year if possible.
You could designate a special snack that she only gets when she's at schoool (not an 'at home' snack).
Maybe there's a special shirt you bought him to wear on the first day.
Pick out special notebooks for school together. Decorate the notebooks if they are plain. Over the years, we decorated folders with marker drawings, stickers, and/or pictures that we taped onto the front cover.
Before my daughters could read, I would put a new picture in a zip top bag taped to the inside of their lunch boxes every Monday. I think it was the only time I was 'totally on top of' picture-taking-and-printing because I had a set date and good reason (in my head) for taking pictures!
I put a picture in a zip top bag in their lunch box on their first day of school all the way through High School! However, once they could read, I stuck little notes in throughout the year. Check out my Lunch Notes for some you can print and use.
6. Something for YOU
Make sure you have something special planned for YOU.
f it's been a challenging few weeks, or if it is difficult for you to see your child off to school, make sure you have plans after you drop them off that first day.
Go out for coffee with another parent, walk the dog, schedule a phone call or a playdate with one of your friends.
Do something to take your mind off your child.
Teachers are aware that the first day can be tough for children (at all ages). They have all kinds of tricks up their sleeves to ehlp children feel welcome, comfortable, and included.
Most kids who cling, or leave their parents tear-y eyed at the door (meaning the kids, not the parents), are fine moments after the door shuts and their little minds are engaged in doing something fun.
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